I finally got my first question. This one comes from Sara all the way in Florida. Ok, let me start out by saying I have gotten this question quite a few times over the years. You meet a new guy and it goes one of two ways. Either he tells you he is with someone but it is not working out, or he doesn’t tell you at all. I will cover the easy one first. If he has a girl already YOU are the other woman. It doesn’t matter if he tells you he is leaving her. Or that now is just not the right time to tell her. Or even the ever popular “We live together and I don’t have anywhere to go”   The truth is, if he wanted to be in a relationship with you he would..Period…end of story. If he is still with her in any way shape or form, he is still getting what he wants from you. The last excuse is funny also, every guy I know has at least one friend he could crash with. I know I would let any of my friends stay with me. The other side of the coin is figuring it out if he doesn’t tell you about the other girl. This one is quite tricky actually, as every guy seems to have a system for it. But I will give you a couple of quick tips to help with it

1. If he rarely uses your name when talking to you and instead uses pet names like honey, and baby. This is often used by guys that have more than one girl. The trick is if you use a pet name everytime then you don’t end up slipping up and using the wrong name.

2. If you are only aloud to call and talk to them or stop and see them at certain times. A player runs that game like clockwork. When he needs you is the only time he wants you.

If you read this and find it applies to you then get out now!!  If he is cheating on his current girl with you, then he will cheat on you too. There are no exceptions to this rule. Most guys in relationships are only as faithfull as their options, so keep that in mind. I can’t tell you how many times a guy I know has been like “I don’t see why she is pissed, I had a girl when I met her so it is the same thing now” Makes it somewhat of a double standard. I will leave you with this thought for today. Often times we get so excited by the new features of a relationship that we are blind to the emotional price tag

I happened to be checking out the site today and I figured that a good way to get everyone involved would be to make it possible for you to e-mail me questions. So if you have a question about men or about relationships you would like my 2 cents on, then send them to Dick@Dickdangerous.comand I will answer them on here so that it benefits everyone. Don’t worry I will keep names private.

Also you might want to check out my parenting blog at http://www.badparenthood.com  same style you find on here. Just straight talk all the way

Have a great weekend everyone

The debate that has raged on for years. Is it ok to date the ex boyfriend or girlfriend of one of your friends.

As a general rule and I am sure most agree that once one of your friends dates someone it is bad taste to chase after their ex or even to befriend them. I know a lot of people are on the fense about the situation. But let me share something that happened to me just days ago.

Basically I was dating a girl and we ended up getting engaged. When I proposed all I got was a hug and then she went outside to smoke. Should have been a red flag there but hey I was in love. After the proposal the relationship changed.  She would constantly talk about planning the wedding, but the only time I would ever hear the words “I love you” would be if I said it first. She would pay some of the house bills as I was paying for everything else but as time went on the bills paid became fewer and fewer. Then the fighting started, I would mention that it was important to me that I hear I love you from the person that I am with. Because if it is only said as a responce then there is no meaning behind it. In responce to that I would hear that I go out all the time and I am never home. Alothough the most I was out of the house was about 1 hour a week to go to the gym. So after each time we tried to work it out she would change for a moment and then the I love you would stop all over again. We basically had the same arguments over and over again. I finally told her that if things didn’t change we would have to go our seperate ways. She swore things would be different but once again it was just an empty promise. Things went right back to normal after a couple of weeks at which point she informed me that I was not aloud to go hang out with one of my friends. Mind you I had not seen him in weeks and it was going to be for 3 hours. She had to work that day so she wouldn’t even be home while I was gone. So having enough of it finally I told her that it would be best if we went our seperate ways. She had 2 children from previous relationships so I told her that I would give her time to find a new place for her an the kids. So after a month she moved out into her new place and I thought everything was behind me. Come to find out she had not paid any bills for 3 months before she moved nor had she been paying the property taxes on the house and I was about to be in default. So I ended up with over $3k in bills that I didn’t plan for. She also would email me daily to talk about revenge and how she was keeping the engagement ring and wedding band that she took. This woman was pretty much all about playing games from the start.

So then she turned her attention to a person that I have considered to be my best friend. Mind you he has heard about all of the things I have gone through with her. She stated sending my flirty comments and I just found out yesterday that they have been hanging out with each other.

You might ask yourself if I am mad at him. The answer is not really, more than anything I feel like I have been let down by one of the few people I actually trust. If the tables were turned I would not even speak to someone that treated one of my friends like that. She constantly plays games and this is just one more game for her to try to win her revenge. I feel sorry for her though because it is not going to bother me.

I have moved on and I am finally happy. It is true that you need to go though a lot of hardship to find what you are really looking for. I am in a relationship with a woman that cares for me and appreciates the little things that I do. She also always stands beside me when I need it most. I never had that before, so it is an amazing change.

So now that you know that I am far from perfect as far as relationships go. You can finally understand why I put this blog page together in the first place. I have been through a lot of shit in my life. I can read guys well, so I am good at giving women advice. I am the “Nice Guy” but I see though the “BS”

So to close out this rant session. Stay away from friend’s ex’s, they are usually an ex for a reason. I have heard a few people mention that it is ok if you ask the friend how they would feel about it first. Even that is better than just taking the ex’s side and breaking trust

Have a great Tuesday all

Dick Dangerous

Just wanted to make sure that anyone who reads this knows I will be starting to blog on here again. I have given it a bit of a vacation but I think it is now time to get back to work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMuIG2vE9I0

I get this question quite a bit. The answer depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking to just scratch an itch then the first date is an option. But if you are looking at this person as someone you want to date then I say at least 5 dates. Sound crazy or like a long time??? Well, it really isn’t if you are trying to weed out the casual booty seekers out there. If you put out on the first date, most guys myself included will lose all respect for you. And if a second date comes from it then it is because we think you are easy and we are going to get to hit it again. But if you wait you can save yourself the hassle. A guy looking to hit it and quit it so to speak will usually move on after one or two dates of not getting any. Saving you from getting too attached to something that is going no where. By the way if you are going to follow my suggestion in this post Clinton world let me define sex , sex is intercourse, handjob, blowjob, footjob or any other type of job that involves using your body on his. Agree or disagree as far as I am concerned if a girl offers it up on the first date with me there won’t be a second date. I want to be able to respect you as much as I respect myself.

I hear a lot of people say that they need to be in a relationship. Almost like being in a relationship makes them feel better about themself. Then there is the old addage that “you are the only person that can make you happy” and the even better “You can’t love someone if you don’t love youself. While you can find truth in both of the previous statements I think they only touch on the point….are you ready for this….Finding a good relationship takes TIME!!!! If you rush into and out of relationships you will find youself in the same situation each time. You find yourself stuck with someone you thought you knew but actually don’t. All because you didn’t want to be alone. Take the time to get to know people and you would be surpised what you might find. Taking your time finding a relationship also gives you time to find yourself…which by the way makes it easier to figure out what you are looking for in a relationship.

How many of you have said “I am looking for a nice guy”? and how many of you actually mean it? You will notice the 80-10-10 rule heading at the top of this post. I came up with this rule after getting quite a bit of input from the vast number of women I know. 80% of women say they are looking for a nice guy but never date anyone but assholes, 10% have dated assholes and are now finally ready to head in the right direction, and the last 10% have actually been looking for a nice guy all along. So no matter how you stack it most of you out there will gravitate to the asshole population for most of your life. Feel free to comment on this first post and if I get a lot of input I will post more. Also post any questions you may want a male prospective on and I will answer them for you.